Our life is not a movie.
There aren’t 10 minutes left before it ends, and you just know that resolution has to be right around the corner. No musical tempo reaches its crescendo, alerting you to the knowledge that the director’s vision has come to a head.
It feels like every day we wait. Wondering what finding Ryan would look like. Would it be today? Would it be a random Tuesday? A birthday wish finally granted? The result of a concerted effort from an organized search group? Does it come at three and a half years? Ten years? Never?
If our life were a movie, I believe It would be a train ride with no vista in sight, just a long, arduous journey. Moving forward past rail stations filled with bustling happiness and storybook lives that we no longer fit in. In our plot, Scott and I are the only passengers conscripted to stay. We watch as the world passes by, wondering if the next stop is ours. There are those we know and love that are able to join us from time to time to spell off the loneliness and grief, but the tickets are in our name only.
I still have faith that Ryan will be found. When is unclear, but my director’s cut tells me our son could have no better advocates than Scott and I.
Not every movie has a happy ending. But some stories still need to be told.
Today I may grieve. Tomorrow I will stand again.
Thank you for sharing part of this journey with us.